DEAR ABBY: I’m a middle-aged homosexual man who has by no means had any critical relationships. A couple of months in the past, I met a 22-year-old man. He appeared actually candy and good, and we had good instances after we had been collectively, so I let him use me for cash. He performed on the sentiments I believed I had for him, and I feel I nonetheless do.
The opposite evening, I caught him mendacity to me once more and went off the deep finish. He ended up blocking my quantity, so I do know he’s not getting my textual content messages. I’ve known as him a minimum of 100 instances and it goes straight to voicemail. Should I simply chalk it up as “lesson discovered” and attempt to go on?
I doubt I’ll ever overlook him. I do know I have to go on with my life. He’s in my head proper now and it’s troublesome. If it had been to occur, I can’t return to him the way in which we had been. Though this will sound silly and immature, I feel I fell in love with him. I’m undecided. He damage me badly as a result of I let him use me. Thanks for any recommendation you may supply. — TRICKED IN TENNESSEE
DEAR TRICKED: I’m sorry you’re hurting however, sure, it’s best to chalk this up as a lesson discovered. You said you’ve by no means had a critical relationship. If you need to pursue one, assembly somebody nearer to your age with whom you have got extra in frequent can be useful. Verify in at your nearest LGBTQ neighborhood heart and join an exercise or occasion and chances are you’ll meet somebody. I want you luck.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a caregiver for my aged diabetic mom and my disabled husband, who’s an alcoholic and in addition epileptic. Each single family duty falls on me — cleansing, maintenance, buying, driving, meals preparation, and so on. My mom refuses to eat proper for her medical situation. It’s a day by day wrestle. I hold all the pieces available to make it straightforward for her, however I nonetheless need to beg and plead.
I’m not nicely. I’ve a number of autoimmune ailments that zap my power. I like my mother and my husband, however this has taken each little bit of pleasure from my life. My mom doesn’t have dementia — she’s very conscious of what she is doing.
As for my husband, his love for me won’t ever come near his love of alcohol. He’s by no means abusive, however I’ve by no means felt so overwhelmed and alone on the identical time. There aren’t any siblings to assist, and my kids stay out of state. Do you have got any options on learn how to hold what’s left of my sanity? — OVERWORKED IN VIRGINIA
DEAR OVERWORKED: Sure, I do, however chances are you’ll not like what I’ve to say. It’s time to stop attempting to “save” your mom and your husband from the fates they’ve chosen. Your mom is an grownup and in possession of her schools. Let her assume duty for herself and her remedy. (Or not — additionally her selection.)
As to your husband’s alcoholism, be a part of Al-Anon and begin attending conferences. Solely he can repair his ingesting drawback if he needs to. Ruining your well being attempting to assist individuals who don’t need to be helped could also be well-intentioned, however additionally it is misguided.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.