DEAR ABBY: I dated a man who hid from me the truth that he was a extreme alcoholic. After I spotted it, I continued thus far him, pondering it was love when it wasn’t. Sadly, after two years of courting, I grew to become pregnant.
After I informed him, he moved again in together with his mom in one other state. He doesn’t work, received’t get a job and calls solely when he’s good and prepared. He has by no means paid any youngster help. He’ll name as soon as each few months and promise our now 4-year-old daughter that he’s coming to see her, however he by no means has.
He noticed her solely twice when she was a child, and I needed to journey to him for each of these visits. (He wasn’t there for her start, both.) My daughter cries for him. He additionally has an 18-year-old daughter from a earlier relationship I came upon about solely after I used to be pregnant. He deserted her, too.
Ought to I lower off contact to save lots of my youngster from being unhappy for a person she doesn’t even know? — DISILLUSIONED IN GEORGIA
DEAR DISILLUSIONED: By all means, stop contact together with your sperm donor. It’s a must to focus on the well-being of your daughter, who understandably is grieving the lack of a father who deserted her. It was a mistake to permit her deadbeat dad to speak to her and make guarantees he had no intention of protecting. Don’t enable that to proceed.
As a result of the explanation he provides for not contributing to youngster help is he doesn’t work (are you SURE that is true?), think about discussing this sorry state of affairs with a lawyer. It may be well worth the cash to pay for one session.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been married 37 years. We’ve at all times been fortunately married. He provides me loving greeting playing cards, telling me how a lot he loves me, and a lot extra.
Over the previous few days, he has been snapping at every thing I say. He twists it round and accuses me of claiming it nastily. I didn’t, and once I repeated it the identical manner, he disagreed. He’s so sensitive. He even informed me a number of occasions to close up and never speak to him. For a short time I didn’t. Then I remarked, regardless that he tried to close me up, that if he hates me a lot, he will need to have a girlfriend. He bought livid at that.
I lastly advised he see a physician. I believed possibly he’d had a stroke. Hopefully, he’ll take into consideration that, as a result of one thing has modified. What do you suppose? — MISTREATED IN ILLINOIS
DEAR MISTREATED: What has been occurring together with your husband may be very latest. Give it a number of weeks and see if it’s a lasting change. Whether it is, that can be the time to speak to your husband. Inform him the change in his character is putting, and you might be frightened about him. His drawback could also be emotional or monetary and don’t have anything to do with you. If there’s a probability that there could possibly be a medical drawback, alert his physician at the moment.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.