We don’t want AI to know that the Inland Empire is usually a unusual place that generates unusual information. Our personal eyes can inform us that.
And so may my manila folder labeled “Bizarre Information of 2023,” during which I stashed articles clipped all year long. The file is bulging. However as soon as once more I winnowed them down right into a Prime 10 on this, my twenty sixth consecutive yr of manufacturing these weird-year-in-review roundups.
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There have been so many prospects that some pretty odd tales didn’t make the minimize.
There was information of the arrest, but once more, of comedian and actor Andy Dick, this time in Lake Elsinore, which additionally revealed that he lives in Hemet. That’s a great distance from Hollywood.
We additionally discovered that Amazon minimize off donations to The Cheech after discovering that some free-thinking, fiercely unbiased artists — attempt to observe me right here — oppose rampant warehouse growth. Gosh, how surprising!
However I restricted myself, as ever, to a Prime 10 checklist. What had been the Weirdest Inland Empire New Tales of 2023? Right here is my definitive, completely right and 100% goal rating. And sure, Temecula is well-represented.
10. Off-brand
In Riverside County, a sheriff’s sting operation went awry when deputies posing as drug sellers met with a suspect, bought him 60 kilos of methamphetamine and let him drive off, thus placing unlawful medication on the streets. In San Bernardino County, a ransomware assault on its Sheriff’s Division resulted in regulation enforcement caving in and paying $1.1 million ransom to criminals. Is native regulation enforcement now abetting crime?
9. Outdated Yeller
A 12-foot-tall metallic sculpture of a canine was positioned, whimsically, exterior Rancho Cucamonga’s new canine park as a marker. Predictably, some folks had been outraged. They didn’t just like the sculpture’s measurement, existence, $20,000 value or yellow colour. Alternate colours recommended: crimson, blue, rust and “three-toned.” Some critics had been downright catty about the entire thing.
8. Very off-brand
In February, a Chino Hills motorist was pulled over for an alleged visitors infraction by a person driving a pickup with emergency lights and a “Fireplace” decal. The person wore what gave the impression to be a regulation enforcement uniform. His badge, nevertheless, recognized him as a member of the Santa Muerte Fireplace Division, which doesn’t exist. The person was later arrested for impersonating a firefighter. And, since he was handing out visitors tickets, not even doing an excellent job of it.
7. Radiating unease
In Temecula, a phrase that can recur all through this Prime 10, the college board banned new cellular phone towers on college grounds on a 3-2 vote after the board president warned about electromagnetic radiation, claimed to be an knowledgeable on the topic and volunteered that wherever he goes, he’s “at all times pondering (about) radiation security.” Nevertheless, he did cease in need of requiring anybody on college grounds to put on a tinfoil hat.
6. Double whammy
In an investigation whose findings had been launched Dec. 6, San Bernardino Metropolis Councilmember Kimberly Calvin was stated to have repeatedly bypassed the chain of command by giving orders to metropolis employees. Would that cloud her probabilities for re-election in March? It could be a moot level, as a result of Calvin was informed the subsequent day that resulting from a scarcity of voter signatures on her nomination papers, she received’t even seem on the poll. All this in underneath 24 hours? And also you thought you had been having a nasty week.
(theme music performs)
Motion pictures now not supply intermissions, not even “Killers of the Flower Moon” at 3 ½ hours, however my Prime 10 checklist does. Be at liberty to face up, bend and stretch your humorous bone. Use the restroom when you should, or seize some refreshments from this newspaper’s snack bar. Hey, no throwing Milk Duds on the columnist!
And now, on with the countdown.
5. Acquired Milk?
In Temecula, the college board on a 3-2 vote determined to reject a social research textbook due to its inclusion of gay-rights icon Harvey Milk amongst lots of of pages of supplemental social-studies materials. Gov. Gavin Newsom threatened to ship the textbooks anyway, invoice the district and levy a advantageous. He additionally filmed a video during which he spoke on to Temecula mother and father, as in the event that they had been hostages. Correctly, if belatedly, the board majority backed down.
4. DU-why?
Two Riverside County elected officers had been arrested for driving underneath the affect — for the second time every. Clarissa Cervantes of the Riverside Metropolis Council was pulled over in July, lower than two months after a choose dismissed her first DUI conviction from 2014. Matthew Serafin of Perris’ Val Verde Unified college board was arrested in August on a recent DUI, one yr after finishing probation for a conviction from 2019. I want them each the perfect, however motorists can solely hope the pair’s pledges of modified habits stick higher than the primary time.
3. SNL’s ‘Lisa’
Precisely why the live-from-New-York “Saturday Evening Reside” character performed twice by Ego Nwodim is called Lisa From Temecula stays mysterious. However the entitled legal professional who assumes each man is making a cross at her and who rocks restaurant tables so vigorously as to spill her mates’ meals all over the place received America speaking about Temecula.
2. One thing blue
On Opening Day, a Dodgers fan from Riverside leaped onto the sector mid-game, dropped to at least one knee and proposed to his girlfriend who was seated within the bleachers. Stadium safety ran at him and carried out a flying deal with. It was one of many few instances you’ll see a deal with throughout a baseball recreation. The information went viral. He was banned from the stadium for one yr. Extra importantly, his girlfriend stated sure.
And the No. 1 Bizarre Native Information Story of 2023:
Faculty-culture wars
In Temecula — but in addition within the Chino Valley! — college boards debated evening after evening about whether or not to out a relative handful of transgender youngsters if academics know one thing their very own mother and father don’t. Adults on each side rallied, shouted, name-called and employed copious quantities of poster board. Was this actually probably the most urgent training problem of 2023? Think about if this a lot ardour had been directed towards studying loss, math instruction or civics.
David Allen writes Friday, Sunday and Wednesday, extra losses. E-mail dallen@scng.com, cellphone 909-483-9339, like davidallencolumnist on Fb and observe @davidallen909 on Twitter.